At first I was afraid, I was petrified...

But now I've got access to my files and a portable hard drive to boot (figuratively).

Darty was a wash, but fnac had the "portable hard drive enclosure" I was looking for. The hardest part was opening the compartement on the bottom of my laptop with a philips head that was too big, one that was too small, a couple flat heads that were the right size, one that was too big, and the nail file from my nail clippers. The installation was really simple, and now I've got access to all my files, and 80 GB of portable storage, which is pretty cool as soon as it stops stinking.

There was more to this post, and it was really good, but it was lost when the internet here ground to a halt. Your loss. Sorry.